2004-08-03 - 8:03 p.m.
could i possibly go through any more emotions this summer?
to start, i'm pissed off immensely at my co-worker. he broke his tennis racquet like two weeks ago, so i let him borrow mine for teaching purposes. yeah. so i guess last week, he fucking broke my old racquet. like broke. not just strings... i'm talking busted the frame... so that means he must have hit it hard on the ground or on something... cuz those frames don't break easily. ok. so thats not the worst part. he never fucking told me about it. apparntely kelly knew. didn't tell me either. wes just put the racquet back into its case in my bag. i would have never noticed, had kelly not told joel and showed him today. yeah. so i am pissed off now. and wes is on vacation through this weekend. i'm going to call his mother and talk to her about it. he will be paying me for my racquet. my parents are super pissed off because now i need to buy another racquet - which are not cheap. i figured i'll just get another racquet just like the one i have now - but that will cost me about $250... so i've been looking online for some deals or discounts. i found my racquet for $70 through some tennis warehouse. i'll probably get it from there... it'll just be a backup. but hopefully wes will be paying me for it. the racquet he broke cost my mother almost $150. so, i figure if i just ask for $100... that should be good, right?
and once more, making his umpteenth appearance in my blog... JOHN. I know how i feel about him. and I know i really should tell him. but I also know i am such a pussy when it comes to these situations. i swore i would tell him in person. then i decided i would cop out and tell him in an email (i know... thats retarded and junior-highish, but so?). thus... i decided to tell him before he left for the bahamas. yeah... that would be tomorrow morning at 7. not going to happen. so... i have finally decided to wait until he is at school... and tell him. maybe on the phone. maybe through IMs... maybe in an email. i figure that may be best.
i have come to the realization that maybe i'm overreacting to everything in regards to him. perhaps we are best off as friends for now. i think that he is too immature right now and anything that could/would/should happen between us would be short and meaningless. so, perhaps after a semester or a year at college, he will mature (as most guys and girls end up doing) and he will realize what we could have as a couple. i think i have been overly irrational. of course, there is always that possibility that i will never get what i want - meaning him. i guess i can accept that. i can also accept friendship forever with him over nothing.
ok... on a lighter note - there was a HUGE storm this evening. it was really wild. the rain was crazy pouring... and the lightening and thunder were so bright and loud... gah! it scared me. but, i was down at the parking garage at the YMCA to protect my car. it was interesting. but a waste of a good 45 minutes or so.
work sucks. only one more week... after this one. next friday i am going up to school to visit friends. yay!
off to watch summerland! ciao
